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What Realisations Have You Had In 2019?
#1
2019 is drawing to a close, so it seems a good time to reflect on any major realisations you've had during the year.   

It's been a tough year for me, as was last year but (cross fingers) I am putting in place building blocks for the future.  More on this next year (it will affect this forum and its users).  

Nevertheless I've learned a few new things, and re-learned a bunch of others.

The 2 things I am most happy about started as soon as I launched this forum when I got my ass back into gear again.

1: The food you put into your body has an enormous impact on your emotional control, state, appearance, strength, energy.

I am ecstatic at the body improvement progress I've made, but beyond that the improvement in energy, base state and so on.  I was letting things slide.  No more.

2: Floor sleeping and insomnia.

It's early days but I've had insomnia for years and I don't think I realised the extent it was ruining my life.  It fucks with your testosterone, energy, spirit.  I think I have found the solution entirely through my own efforts with some self directed research.  

3: Keep trying new things.

If you google "insomnia cure" you won't find floor sleeping as a possible cure.  So, I've relearned not to get stuck in a rut with the same "trammeled" thinking.  Try new things, new ideas!  You never know what benefits you will get.

I would like 2020 to blow away 2019 and I want an upward trajectory from here on out.  However I see the landscape is changing so there are going to have to be some fairly major changes in the way I am doing things (more on this next year).  If nothing else, it will make me tougher and more resilient.   I still fully anticipate the storm.  I'd rather deal with hardship and toughen up than be a lamb for the slaughter.
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#2
The main thing I learned this year is the importance of the link between your body and your mind.

I've been seeing myself as a brain carried by a body for most of my life without realising how much your health influences your mind.

What started as "I want to lose weight to look better" transformed into:
  • Certain foods make me think more clearly
  • Losing fat gives me more energy to think creatively
  • Not getting drunk makes me focus longer
  • Lifting weights makes me feel happier

I now understand why the Greek ideal was the warrior/poet and why they had a distaste for pure intellectuals.
When you're smart but physically unwell, the only thing you get is bursts of intellectual performance, rather than a constant well-oiled motor.
This year I lost 12kg while taking up weightlifting. But most importantly I got much smarter by fixing all the self-sabotaging things I was doing.
I'm talking about a very significant increase as well if you consider yourself smart but you're fat/eat poorly/don't exercise this might change your life.

The second thing is the importance of drive, truth and responsibilities.

I got the privilege of meeting some very successful people this year, CEOs, Millionaires and even a couple billionaires.
What set them apart wasn't smartness but being driven, having a plan and taking full responsibility for their mistakes (and the mistakes of others)
It is now clear to me that people that shield themselves from facing the truth or refuse to take responsibility for their actions are cut off from life's feedback mechanism.
Which ultimately is what feeds your journey to excellence.
I had a lot of ego destroying lessons about how to be a good founder this year, and I expect many more in 2020.
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#3
2019 was a turning point year for me. 

At the end of 2018 I had a beautiful but short relationship with a girl that I'm Shure I loved. I have blown it up at the New Year’s Eve. I was so happy about my new skills and red pill knowledge, so I overtly demonstrated them in front of the eyes of everyone at the party. Result was obvious. Sad for me. She is still at the top of my "hall of fame". But there is the power of walk away. 

So I've started from scratch and focus almost all off my effort on improvement of my character. 
First I have to tackle down my depth spiral, then mind, and then body. 
I broke up almost every friendship and cut of contact with all of my "plates'. As I look at them now I see there was a lower value. 

The results of my actions are: 
1. realising what is the SIGMA and finally after 38 years of my life I feel great confidence and power. Even that I still have a lot of thing to sort out.
2. Big rise of the SMV in all areas (mind-set, body, health, fashion, social life, etc.)
3. Targeting Gamma traits in me, and using my new approach dealing with them 

It’s hard for me to express it in the written words, but despite 2019 was a biggest challenge, I've never feel more complete in my life as I am now. 
In 2020 I just want to push all this things I've started in a stable growth and maybe rest some more. 
constant is change...
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#4
My 2019 realization is: I may be able to choose a woman as great looking and cool as her but not her→In other words, play the numbers game to find several girls that choose you back so you can choose a special girl from those (if there is).
My other realization is that I am fine to putting the effort to improve what I can control even if in the end it doesn't pay off.
I no longer care. And that is a pretty cool way of living.
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#5
1. Realizing that the best time to plant a tree was ten years ago and the second best one is now;

2. Quitting my job and moving abroad;

3. I knew this for some time, but only now it “moved into my hindbrain” - we are living in a golden age: one can hardly die of starvation or a common cold, travel is cheap, jobs are everywhere. This means that risk avoidance is just weaselling from taking real action. This applies to both job, daygame, health, diet, anything;

4. I am not defined by my job or career. This might sound like a cheap Fight Club quote, but it’s true. Too much time and energy went into things that seemed like a matter of life and death at the time, and let me live life through it. Now they seem like mostly a waste of time and energy;

5. If you have normies and blue pill guys who try to talk you out of improving your life, do your best not to hate or despise them. They mean you no good with their stupid advice, but treat them as four year old kids who are trying to convince you to go on a sugar-candy-only diet. They’re not evil cunts, they just don’t know better;

6. When you have nr. 5 in mind, it’s also easier to forgive your inner gamma and weasel for being a cunt a million times;

7. Losing all respect to people I deem to be unworthy of it;
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#6
(12-18-2019, 02:31 PM)D-503 Wrote: 1.      Realizing that the best time to plant a tree was ten years ago and the second best one is now;

2.      Quitting my job and moving abroad;

3.      I knew this for some time, but only now it “moved into my hindbrain” - we are living in a golden age: one can hardly die of starvation or a common cold, travel is cheap, jobs are everywhere. This means that risk avoidance is just weaselling from taking real action. This applies to both job, daygame, health, diet, anything;

4.      I am not defined by my job or career. This might sound like a cheap Fight Club quote, but it’s true. Too much time and energy went into things that seemed like a matter of life and death at the time, and let me live life through it. Now they seem like mostly a waste of time and energy;

5.      If you have normies and blue pill guys who try to talk you out of improving your life, do your best not to hate or despise them. They mean you no good with their stupid advice, but treat them as four year old kids who are trying to convince you to go on a sugar-candy-only diet. They’re not evil cunts, they just don’t know better;

6.      When you have nr. 5 in mind, it’s also easier to forgive your inner gamma and weasel for being a cunt a million times;

7.      Losing all respect to people I deem to be unworthy of it;
Nice list man.  Re no 3 - I don't know about jobs being everywhere.  I think that might be industry specific or more applicable to your case.  Are you basing this off data?

My perception is it's tougher than ever, middle class is shrinking all over the developed world etc.

Always a good time to get healthy, start new projects etc though.  My view is that it's best to learn self reliance as soon and as effectively as possible.
Do you actually want to make progress with your goals : aesthetic, business, women, fitness?  Check out the Secret Society VIP Members Club.
Check it out
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#7
(12-20-2019, 07:31 AM)SteveJabba Wrote: Nice list man.  Re no 3 - I don't know about jobs being everywhere.  I think that might be industry specific or more applicable to your case.  Are you basing this off data?

My perception is it's tougher than ever, middle class is shrinking all over the developed world etc.

Always a good time to get healthy, start new projects etc though.  My view is that it's best to learn self reliance as soon and as effectively as possible.

Regarding my point about jobs being everywhere - I'm not saying they're necessarily your ideal jobs or well paid - it's just that if you are not a total social reject and have an IQ>110, there's plenty of jobs that can make you a perfectly solid living.

I've been having a lot of discussion with some of my English and American friends lately, and what seems so strange and weird to them is that when you come from a (former) communist country, your default state is to hold on to a job as if your life depends on it. In Eastern Europe you are raised by your parents to think like that, your teachers and your friends often talk about changing jobs as if it's colonizing Mars. Takes a lot of time to rip yourself out of that way of thinking, and it's really not easy. It's kind of a life-path-onetis. You studied to be an engineer -> work as an engineer -> become die an engineer. Don't rock the boat!

And it turns out that you can change countries, careers, jobs, and it's really not a big deal. For my parents it was a big deal - either they worked a shitty job or they weren't eating. My father just cannot understand that one of my mates quit his fancy job in the civil service and created a startup. To him it's like rock climbing without a rope, with syringe full of heroin in one hand and an HIV positive test in the other.

Let me be clear - I work 9-5 office job, my life is far from what I want it to be. On the other hand, I had a stressful shitty job, quit it and took the risk, and here I am working on something that has nothing to do with my previous jobs and education, it's basically zero stress, I get to learn a lot about the business world in the West, and most of all I've proven to myself that changing professions and countries is really not such a big deal. If a friend might send me a job offer from China, fuck it, I'll go. Not saying it's necessarily gonna make me more happy - but it's a really low risk adventure when you think about it in historical terms.

So in that regard, life has become an amusement park. But if you're buying a house and sending your kids to school - a whooole different ballgame.
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#8
Things I´ve learned and internalized in 2019:

- The importance of having financial independence in the form of investments or passive income so one´s free to work on personal projects that one really enjoys instead of being a slave to the system.
- Finding one´s true vocation and building a profession off what one really enjoys in life. Excellence will come naturally with time, as you´ll be doing what you really like.
- How self aggrandizement and ego often get in the way of success. The focus should be on offering the best product/service so that people are benefitted. They will be attracted to your sincerity and drive (it goes without saying that scammers and value leeches should always be kept away).
- The fact that geographical independence is essential. Unfortunately, there are cities and countries where you just won´t fit in. Maybe locals are closed off to foreigners, maybe there´s a prevalent low value culture, maybel feminism and PC has been adopted en masse.
While there are no perfect places, there are good and bad ones. The keys is to find one where you feel welcome, you enjoy the culture and it´s easy to connect with high value people who can open doors for you in exchange for your skills and company.
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#9
Life doesn't wait till you make up your mind. Everybody goes through some difficult stuff, and you wouldn't trade their problems for yours. You are going to die. Nobody will help you reach your goals but nobody will stop you either. Accept that other human beings have their own agendas and flaws and won't change a bit for you. Stop blaming them for your failures. Fuck waiting for ideal scenario or good mood. Fuck being defined by your past. Fuck unmet expectations. Welcome uncertainity. You are not your thoughts, you are your actions. Act like you fight for your life, because you in fact do.
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#10
How much the world is colored by our own emotions, thoughts; which is a bit of a matrix moment when you realize most things aren't as they seem. The world looks significantly different depending on the person and their own unique filter: honestly, a few trials with acid and a drift away from egocentrism has elucidated this point. the mind is both a vehicle and cage.
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#11
Your hair and face are likely the biggest contributors to your looks and losing fat gives you more attractive facial features.

I was fat in my 20s and went unnoticed by the girls. In my 30s I worked out and cut out the grains and refined sugars per the paleo diet and as a result I cut the fat. I cut my fat down to roughly 18% body fat and I slowly started getting eyed by girls. The lower my body fat went below 18% the more girls eyed me. Not only do I get eyed more but when I open sets girls blush more. Even when I talk to girls in everyday situations like asking them if they are in line sometimes they blush. This never happened to me before I lost the fat.

It seems that the eyeing has something to do with my face rather than my body because I got skinnier, I am not ripped, and the girls continued to eye me into the fall and winter when my body was covered in clothes. I think the eyeing is due to my face getting thinner, my jawline sharpening, my cheekbones showing, or more likely a combination of these factors.

Hence my experience is that losing the fat gave me more attractive facial features which girls started noticing.
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#12
1. I truly enjoy managing, mentoring and coaching people. I have hired and trained 8+ people and this was the big + of 2019
2. My passions will continue to surface if I don't actualize them. I wanted to own my own company since I was 16, I am 33 now and I still work a "standard" job. This lack of actualization kept coming up through 2019, I kept pushing it back for the sake of my relationship, eventually my ex broke up with me and while I was relieved for the break up I also realized my lack of "presence" was a big reason
3. You can't change people. My ex wasn't a good match for the type of person I am with the things I want to do in life. If I keep pushing hard I can try to make a relationship work for years but I end up miserable and anyway eventually she will realize it and break up with me
4. Making money is easy once you put yourself in the right place with the right value proposition. Making money and actualize yourself is harder, doable, but harder
5. You really are the closest friends you have. This is a big one since I thought just having friends was THE thing to do. But actually having the right friends in the right place in their own lives is KEY. Most of my current close friends have a "standard" job, "standard" wife/companion, but I am not like that! Hence while I love them and will do anything I could to help them, I can't continue to keep them in my close circle
5. Getting married before 30 must be a either a struck of luck or a complete disaster. I can't think of myself having any clue of what I was doing before collecting all those life experiences
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